Best Wedding Etiquette

Wedding Etiquette 911

Basic wedding etiquette are the essential building blocks for a great wedding and family relationships.

Afterall, getting married is a milestone in one's social and personal life especially when you are being pronouced "Husband and Wife" families of both the bride and groom become interwined and added to the family tree.

Everyone knows that good manners reflect your good upbringing and it also open doors of opportunities for us in our daily lives. Good manners can be seen in very successful people whereby they practise enriching other people's lives by their philantrophic ways, providing great employee working environment and benefits or by starting businesses to help the poor to help themselves etc.

There are people who are more social savvy than others, while others worked at being socially graceful, well-mannered, kind and considerate.Wedding planning and getting your "thousand and one" things done can really be extremely stressful, when wedding etiquette issues pops up and your immediate family members either offer too many confusing advise or you just want a second opinion. Here's where I hope this page can help.

These are some common wedding etiquette issues and recommendations:

1. Proposal/ Engagement

The man gets to ask the QUESTION. Before you do that you will have to consider the following:

a. The proposal venue and its ambience:

- If you are a shy and private person, is the place private enough? Romantic enough?

- If you are the risk taker type and very sure your sweet heart will say "yes" - you may consider an outdoor location, spent the extra money on a public announcement system and perhaps even join in a special national event like July 4th celebrations and invite the media to cover your historic event.

b. Flowers, food and drinks

Great food and champagne will be your starter for a great evening dinner. Don't forget the flowers are the MOST important gift for this occasion! You will be surprised that many women remember their proposal flowers many years after their wedding.

c. Proposal actions

Some guys are naturally romantic while some are more reserved. Whether you fall into this category or not, your expressions, actions and sincerity must co-ordinate! Well, kneeling on one knee is still one of the most traditional and popular proposal action and slipping in theengagement ring onto her finger at the appropriate time is also a skill to learn. Take the clue from your dad!

d. Asking the father's permission

Basic wedding etiquette requires you to know her family and traditions well.

Discuss with her and depending on how many members of the family you want to invite, it's usually the parents of the girl you want to marry to brunch, lunch or dinner. You may choose the appropriate time during meal time to ask that life's crucial question.

e. Practise your line

Nothing beats a well prepared proposal line. Pretend that you are going for your first job interview. You will also have to be prepared for the unexpected answer though.

f. Announce to the world!

Let your immediate family and close friends know immediately.

g. Choosing wedding date

One of the most important wedding etiquette is to consider some of the important dates of both the families and try to avoid dates that are a taboo to the family (a death anniversary of a loved one) or avoid having your wedding celebrations on the same day of a wedding of another family member.

2. Wedding invitations

a. Prepare a detailed guest list

Your guest list will need to include your must haves relatives and close friends. Do not miss anyone out. Check and double check before you send your invitations. Spell check all names, titles and addresses. Nothing is most offending than misspelling someone's name. Call or ask your family and close friends to ensure that it is correct.

b. You're invited!

Not sure if you are delighted to receive the invitation or not but basic courtesy is for you to reply as soon as you can. This will help the couple to have more lead time to prepare for their wedding. Send the wedding couple a gift whether you are attending or not. Do visit their gift registry and try to purchase those they need. For example, it is common practise for people in Asia to send cash gift in an evelope.

3. Engagement Party

You can organise a cosy family and close friends type of engagement party or throw a big party. However, do not over shadow your wedding day celebrations!

4. Bachelorette / Bachelor Parties

Do not demand for a bachelorette party or bachelor party. It is for your close friend and buddy to initiate! If your friend who is getting married and you are the one organising the party do not force or insist on or "get even" with him/her. If your friend is not the sporting type do not make him or her do those "wild" things that you and your friends can have a great time laughing and embrassing the poor guy or girl. Consideration for your friend's feelings is basic wedding etiquette (sometimes not making your friend do morally wrong things is also consideration for his or her future spouse).

5. Wedding Parties/ Bridal Showers/ Wedding Ceremonies / Wedding Cocktails/Brunch/Lunch/Dinners

Usually most wedding parties and ceremonies do include children. They are part of the extended family. If you are considering an adults only wedding ceremony, will you have to put it on your invitations "Adults only". Do not make the mistake of puting "Children are not allowed" on your invitation cards. It can be most offending to most parents.

6. Gifts

What are the basic wedding etiquette for wedding gifts to give that don't make you look like a miser? This is a subjective question. Giving gift takes skill and good budgeting. Rule of thumb is not to recycle gifts. That's bad manners to many (if they get to know about it, or worse the gift is from them!)

Generally many people I know are generous with their wedding gifts because they knew that getting married is a big financial burden and some well-meaning close friends or relatives will even buy expensive and useful gifts like furniture, decorations and home appliances for the newly weds. So it all depends on you, give a gift from your heart and within your budget, you don't have to break your bank to do it.

7. Wedding Dates/Time/Venues/Accomodations

Do choose a location that have easy access for all your invited guests unless you intend to charter buses or limos to pick them up at a specific location.

For out-of-town guests, do arrange for accommodation whether at a local hotel or family home etc. Do make their stay as comfortable as possible. It will be great if you can send a flower basket to thank them for flying in specially for your wedding!

8. Wedding Rings / Wedding Expenses

Who choose the wedding rings and who pays for it? Who pays for all the different items for the entire wedding expenses? What are the traditional wedding etiquette for the paying parties?

Traditional wedding etiquette states that the guy pays for the ring but with women now drawing boardroom salary it is not unusual for her to be able to pay for it too. Similarly, the parents of the couple do fork the bill for the wedding however, traditions and culture across the world holds different practises.

Somehow these traditions are blurred as many women are working and earning better salaries. Some couples decided to hold wedding ceremonies that are unique and untraditional. My husband and I paid for all our wedding expenses as we do not want to burden our parents with the cost. What about you? Will you like to share your wedding experience with all visitors to this site? Do share your experiences with mehere.

Wedding etiquette require the couple have the 6 C's: to be comfortable, considerate, compassionate, to communicate, compromise and consistently kind to others and to each other.